AS YOU ARE
Part 16

BRIAN's POV

One Month Later

The minute I walk into the diner, I regret it. The boys are in their usual booth, giggling like a bunch of schoolgirls. They'll never change.

I plop myself down next to Mikey and bestow upon him my customary kiss. No tongue, just a brief touch of the lips.

"You're up and about early," Mikey says, smiling at me. He looks giddy with joy.

We were at Woody's until 3am when I got hit with an idea for my new client. I rushed back to the loft, Mikey in tow, and spent hours behind the computer. I didn't get to bed until close to 8am. And here I am three hours later. Amazing.

"Yeah, well, I couldn't sleep," I tell him.

Ted snorts and I know his one-track mind has already summed up the events - Woodys; back to the loft; lack of sleep.

I smirk at him, let the bastard think what he wants.

Emmett is making it his business to ignore me all together. Good. I'm not in the mood for his antics this morning.

I look up when I feel two pairs of eyes on me - Debbie and her hard working busboy, Justin.

They're obviously arguing about who gets to serve His Royal Highness, but they shouldn't bother because I don't want anything.

Justin is avoiding my eyes at all costs. Good. The minute I lock eyes with him, I promise myself I'll let all the fury out. I want him to know I think he's a fucking tease and I'm glad he's gone...out of my life...for good.

I am aware, of course, that I'm full of shit. I'd sooner turn my back on him than I would on Mikey, Linds, Joan...
I don't care that he's hurt me. I should have protected myself better. I'm the one to blame for all my pain...because I shoved him off the fucking cliff. Of course, I hadn't expected to jump off right behind him.

Now, I must suffer the consequences.

But to hell with him if he thinks everything is going to be just peachy keen between us. No fucking way!

Debbie's obviously lost the toss because soon she's standing beside me, pen and order pad in hand. She gives me the once over. "Well," she pops her gum. "What'll it be, you little asshole?"

"Ma!" Mikey's so fucking quick to defend me. "What's wrong with you?"

"It's him you should be asking that question," Deb smacks her gum and points the pen at me.

I pull away slightly, just in case she chooses to use that pen as some kind of weapon and give her a forced smile. "All this early morning sweetness is likely to kill me."

Deb snorts. "You really amaze me, you know that?"

"I amaze myself, really," I answer, tongue in check.

She leans in close and squeezes my chin. "Don't be a smart-ass, Buster." I watch her flip through her pad. "I don't know, Brian." She shakes her head and then stops fiddling through the pad to glare at me. "When are you going to fix this?"

"Didn't know anything was broken," I am so full of shit this morning.

"Funny, real funny," she says with a grin. "It won't be so funny when he's gone though."

"Stay out of it," I warn her.

"I will not stay out of it!" she tells me. "When are you going to stop punishing him? Why can't you just talk to him?"

This really pisses me off. They all want to have their say about my life. Well, fuck them. It's MY life and I'll do what I want, when I want, how I want. No apologies; no regrets...

Ok, so maybe I do have some regrets. Fuck!

"Ma!" Mikey protests. "Justin brought this on himself."

"Leave it alone," I quickly tell Mikey. He knows better than to involve himself in my personal life, especially when Justin is the subject involved.

I'm not going to let them get to me this time.

Since the day he walked out of my loft...exactly one month ago, his choice made, I've not spoken two words to him. He avoids me at all costs and I make it easy by staying out of his way.

But not anymore... I'm not going to be the only one that suffers here. He needs to know what it feels like...to be dumped...to have your heart ripped from your chest, torn to shreds...to have the one person you care so much about leave you for another man. He's forgotten what we had but I can't.

I look up and he's propped up on the counter, staring out the window, a far away look in his eyes.

I wonder what he's thinking...if he has any regret over the past few months.

I know I do. And so will he.

Mikey's been riding my ass to hang out with him more often and I've been giving in, mostly because I've felt guilty for neglecting him.
Tonight, though, I manage to put him off and get him to stay in with his professor.

The minute I walk into Babylon, I spot the queer twins, Ted and Emmett at their usual place at the bar. For once, they aren't their usual mushy, disgusting selves.

"Brian!" Ted seems surprised to see me, if the expression on his face is any indication.

"What the fuck's wrong with you?" I ask him. To the barkeep, I order a beer.

"Nothing," Ted assures me.

Emmett has been especially nasty to me of late, but fuck him. I don't care. He wants to meddle in my life and pick sides? That's his fucking business.

"He's here," Ted whispers.

I don't try to pretend that I don't know who HE is.

HE is why everyone pities me. HE is the reason I can't sleep at night. HE is about to be fucked...and for once, HE's not going to like it.

"You don't say?" I ask smartly. "Little Sunshine has come out to play? The cat must have gone away."

Ted shakes his head in humour. "He's in England," he confirms.

Good. Felix would have made things a little more difficult for me. With him in another continent, this will be a piece of cake.

I gulp down my beer in one swallow and scan the crowd. Quickly, I spot Justin. He's shirtless and dancing. The men around him are taking turns so I don't see why I can't. If he wants to put on a show, why should I stop myself from watching?

Then I notice he has a little partner. Whoever he is, he's also shirtless. I can't see his face but he has a nice fit body, slim and sleek. His hair is dark and cut short.

I put my empty beer bottle on the counter and wave goodbye to Ted. I make my way over to the dancing couple, but not so they'll notice me. My black sleeveless shirt is gone in seconds, falling on the dance floor below. It's expensive, but I don't care, I'll buy a new one.

When I'm close enough and in Justin's partner's view, I put my plan into action. He taught me a lesson a few months ago. It's time for me to return the favour...let him know what it feels like.

I can't dance as well as Justin can, I'll be the first one to admit it. But I've got the looks...the body and my eyes. I can express a lot of emotions with my eyes if I want to. And I want something now. HIM.

When my eyes locked onto the boy's, he's taken in immediately. It was as easy as one sinful look. Fuck, I'm good. I smirk to myself. I can have any man I want. And little Justin is about to learn just that.

He moves away from Justin and towards me. He stares into my eyes and I wrap an arm around his slim waist, pull him closer to me as I grind my hips against his. He's hard and I'm getting there. My mouth is on his in seconds, hungry for a taste.

"Brian?"

I pull away and Justin is looking at me, the confusion evident in his eyes.

"What?" I ask coldly.

Justin bites his bottom lip, his eyes pleading with me. He looks at the other boy then at me again. "Please, don't do this."

Before I give my new 'pal' a chance to respond, I lean down to whisper, but just loud enough so Justin can still hear, "I'm going to fuck you all night long."

I can feel him weakening in my arms. As I grip his hand in mine, I turn to look at Justin. "Looks like the boy made his choice. And it wasn't you."

Without a backward glance, we leave Babylon.

Banging on the door wakes me up. The clock on the bedside table says 4am. Who the fuck could be at my door at this hour?

My bed 'pal' groans. "Where are you going?"

I yawn. "Can't you fucking hear that?"

He shrugs and covers his head with a pillow. I shake my head and grab the black jeans I was wearing last night. They're on the floor, along with the rest of mine and... whatshisname's clothes.

Sliding the door open, I'm amazed to see Justin. He's obviously angry and has a huge bag on the floor at his feet.

"Are you happy now?" he shouts at me.

"Justin," I say as calmly as I can. "What are you doing here? Do you have any idea what time it is?"

He ignores both of my questions and bolts right in.

I shouldn't be feeling guilty, goddammit. I can fuck whomever the hell I want! Whenever the hell I want! I shouldn't have to worry about Justin showing up at all hours of the morning to tear my ears off.

"Where is he?" he shouts at me.

I try to touch his arm but he won't let me get near him.

"Hugo?" he screams, dragging the bag behind him.

He races into my bedroom and pulls the duvet off my 'pal'.

"Get up!" he demands. "Get the fuck up, Hugo!"

So his name's Hugo? Great. I fucked a guy named Hugo. Will wonders never cease?

I feel I should intervene. The poor guy's naked and struggling to wake up at this hour and all Justin is doing is screaming at him.

"Justin," I start but he interrupts me with a cold look.

"I have nothing to say to you, Brian," he snaps angrily.

I snort. "Oh you don't, do you?" I watch as Hugo sits up and starts pulling on his jeans. "Stay put, Hugo. I'm not done with you yet."

Hugo stops in his tracks. He blinks a couple times then opens his eyes wide.
He's staring at the bag in Justin's hand. "Is that my fucking stuff?"

Justin throws the bag at him. Hugo has to move quickly so he won't get hit in the head. "That's right. You wanna fuck Brian? Go right ahead. Fuck him today, tomorrow and next fucking Friday for all I care. I've gone and made it easy for you. You can stay here and let Brian fuck you senseless!"

Hang on a sec. I KNOW I'm hearing wrong. He did not just say...

"Are you fucking crazy?" Hugo shouts, pulling on his jeans as he stands.

Yes, Justin, are you going fucking insane?

"No," Justin reassures him. "But as of now, you're not welcome in my place."

"Don't you mean Felix's place?" Hugo spits out. "He'll never let you do this to me."

Justin smirks. "Really? Well, we'll just see about that!"

He turns to go and I'm still at a loss for words. I watch Hugo for a minute, before running after Justin.

He hasn't gotten far before I grip his shoulder and turn him around harshly.

"He is NOT staying here!" I shout at him.

Justin raises an eyebrow. "You fucked him, you can keep him."

I want to laugh, really, because this situation is way too funny. It's like fucking déjà vu.

"Justin-"

"Brian, I don't ever want to see you again," Justin says coldly. "You are the most disgusting person I've ever met. You wanted to hurt me, well you've done it. Now just stay away from me. Please."

I can do nothing but watch him walk away. He's right.

This was not supposed to happen. Justin was NOT supposed to react like this. He should be upset goddammit! Guilty even. But not...NOT throwing this guy at me!

It hurts though... so much. Hearing him tell me he never wants to see me again...it's harsh; cold; painful.

But he's right.

When I return to the bedroom, Hugo is sitting on the bed, his head in his hands.

"I'm sorry," he says tiredly.

"Not as sorry as I am," I mutter.

"He is so fucked!" he groans. "I don't even know what got into him! I mean, I fuck whomever I want. I'm not his fucking boyfriend, Felix is!"

"I know how you feel,"

"I don't get it. Why'd he..." Hugo looks me over suspiciously. "You..."

I sigh. Yes, me. I'm the big bad idiot who always fucks up.

"Brian-"

"Stop," I put a hand up to emphasize the order. I pull off my jeans and get into bed. "I'm too tired to think straight right now."

Hugo continues to stare at me. I can see tears glistening in his eyes. "I don't have anyplace to go. Felix-"

"It's alright," I say softly. "You can stay here."

What the fuck am I saying? I must be weakening. The fact that I actually care that young Hugo's been put out of his place and I'm offering him mine...I'm definitely weakening.

He sighs, relieved.

"Temporarily," I add quickly.

He undresses and gets back into bed. "Thanks, Brian."

He tries to kiss me but I push him away. "It's late. Get some sleep."

He nods and falls back on his side. Seconds later, he's lightly snoring.

But I can't sleep. I keep thinking about Justin...how much he must really hate me now. I've gone and fucked this guy... his friend. But I didn't know. It's a feeble excuse and it'd never hold up in court but...

Here I was trying to teach Justin a lesson and instead he's taught me one - don't ever under estimate him.

Looking over at Hugo as he lightly snores, I can't help but sigh.

What have I gone and gotten myself into?

14/11/02 - Krissypig

- top - Meet Felix - home -
[ 1 ] [ 2 ] [ 3 ] [ 4 ] [ 5 ] [ 6 ] [ 7 ] [ 8 ] [ 9 ] [ 10 ]
[ 11 ] [ 12 ] [ 13 ] [ 14 ] [ 15 ] [ 16 ] [ 17 ] [ 18 ] [ 19 ] [ 20 ]