AS YOU ARE
Part 19

Many many thanks to Nicholas for giving me the OK and adding the last 7 paragraphs.
THIS ONE'S FOR MANDI, DLEIGH & JAYE (and anyone else who's into this sorta thing! *grunt*)

JUSTIN's POV

It's all too much. Everything is happening too fast. Why did they plan that stupid party for me? Why did Brian have to make me remember that night? And why am I leaving them all behind to move to Europe with Felix? This is NOT right! Why am I doubting myself? Am I going crazy?

Calm down Justin. Breathe and calm the fuck down. I keep telling myself hoping it will actually work. But it doesn't.
I'm back in my loft, crying like a fucking baby. I'm nothing but a twat, just like Brian always says. I'm a coward and I'm afraid of doing anything. I finally made a decision though and I should stick by it. Shouldn't I?

I look down at the suitcases on the floor, all packed. I lied when I told them I still needed to pack. Felix and Hugo had helped me get everything organized before they left. I was ready hours ago...I should've gone with them, spared myself the pain of goodbyes.

Before he left, Felix kissed me and told me he loved me. He said he'd be waiting for me at the airport...ready for us to start our new life...together.

If not for this stupid party, I would have been on the same plane with my boyfriend...flying far away from all of my pain...starting my new life.

I wipe away the tears with my hand and stare at the ticket. It's in its casing, my passport right next to it. Everything all ready for my big move...everything but me.

Brian. Brian. Brian. Why are you doing this to me? Why are you letting me leave you? I know he wants the best for me - I want the best for me too! And YOU could be the best for me! If only you wanted to...

And then it occurred to me - I never thanked Brian. I hadn't even said goodbye.

The loft door is open, which amazes me. Brian is so anal about keeping his door locked at all times. After the stunt I pulled, I can't blame him. I slide it shut, as quietly as I possibly can.

The room is dark and empty, I guess everyone's gone home. It is after all, 4:30 in the morning. I'm glad there's a full moon tonight because it helps me see my way through the loft. I know this place like the back of my hand but I haven't been here as often lately so...

I look around, my eyes searching for Brian. I wonder if maybe he's gone out somewhere. It's so quiet.

I walk up the steps to the bedroom and there he is, under the duvet, watching me. Fuck! He scared the shit out of me. I thought he would have been asleep. I planned to sneak into his bed just to be near him this one last time.

Ours eyes lock. I take a deep breath as I wait for him to say something. Anything. But he just keeps staring at me.

I bite on my bottom lip as I remove my shoes and socks, wondering if he'll throw my ass out. I wouldn't blame him if he did. Hell, I might actually listen to him for once!
He doesn't say anything though. So far so good.
I wish he'd do something - anything - because I need to be sure this is what he wants too. His hazel eyes are so fucking unreadable it pisses me off.

I pull off the rest of my clothes but keep on my blue underwear. Then, and only then, he pulls back the duvet...just like he did that night. I sigh inwardly, relieved. If he'd tossed my ass out the door now, I would not have been able to take it.

I slide in between the covers and wrap my arms around his naked body, his chest hot and smooth and I feel every hard ripple.
I feel the tears spilling out and I don't know why...or how to stop them. He wraps an arm around me and pulls me close.

My salty tears cover his chest, glistening in the moonlight. He pulls my head back and warns me, with just one look, to stop. He reads my answer in my eyes and then his mouth is on mine, hungry.

I can feel his stiff cock pressing against my stomach, the pre-cum making us stick together.

He pushes me onto my back and grips my face with both hands as he continues his assault. My tongue is losing the battle, he's too strong and experienced for me. I surrender.

I melt under him, wordlessly submitting to his sensual onslaught.

He pulls his tongue out of my mouth so quickly, it's unexpected, making me moan for it again. I lick my lips greedily, still tasting him and wanting him to return.

His hands roughly tear off my underwear. As soon as he tosses them onto the floor, I wrap my legs around him. His eyes lock onto mine. I arch my back and press myself against him, my hard cock urging him to continue.

He grinds his lips against mine so hard, I can feel the indents of my teeth. I know my mouth will be bruised tomorrow but I don't care. I want to control the kiss and wrap my arms around him to ensure he doesn't stop.  My tongue duels with his.

He pulls away, making me realize I control nothing about this night, and licks at my swollen mouth making me groan in ecstacy.
The pre-cum drips out from my hard cock and onto him. He feels the wetness and loosens the hold I have on his waist. As he straddles my thighs, his eyes never leaving mine, he strokes me. I close my eyes tight. When I feel his mouth on my cock, I want to scream out, the pleasure is so intense. He pumps my cock into his mouth, using his tongue to lick at my slit and then slowly devours the head.

"Brian," I moan madly.

His teeth rake the length of my cock as his warm breath tickles the fine blonde hairs surrounding it. My stomach tightens and I grip the sheets turning my knuckles white. His mouth is turning me into an incoherent puddle of mush as he teases and tortures my cock.

I arch my back and push myself further into his mouth until it can go no further...I can feel the back of his throat...fucking unbelievable. So good...so fucking good. All logical thought has left my brain.

My balls tighten and I feel my orgasm slowly creep up towards my dick.
When I cum, I see stars. I feel as though my whole world has been turned upside down. I'm panting and trying to slow my breathing.

I feel Brian making his way up my body, his ruby lips lightly covered with my essence.
He's heavy on top of me, but I like his heaviness. His mouth is inches away from mine and I can smell my cum on his breath. I can't resist and lean up to kiss him, licking myself from his mouth. I sigh, quite content.

He grins down at me. "Don't look so smug, my cock's waiting."

I'm eager to get a turn. I sit up as he plops back on the bed. Straddling his chest so my back is to him, I lick my way down to his navel, circle the tiny hole with my skillful tongue. I know I'm not too heavy for Brian. We've done this before. My ass is in his face, tempting him, urging him to take advantage.

I suck on the skin just below his navel and feel him stiffen. A red bruise appears when I stop, the surrounding area pinkish in colour. I lick the sting away causing him to groan and continue with my assault.

His cock is in my hand, I can feel it trembling. I stroke it gently and white liquid oozes out. I'm amazed by Brian's cock. It's beautiful.

I pump it again and hear Brian's gasp. Licking the tip, he tastes salty but I like it that way. I use my teeth to graze the head because I know that drives Brian wild. Hearing his loud, pleasure-filled moan, I open my mouth wide and take him in.

I feel his palms on my ass, squeezing and caressing. His middle finger is moving back and forth over my crack, driving me to distraction. While I'm sucking on him, I feel his finger in my hole, making me shudder. He adds another finger and I feel I'm going to burst if I don't get him inside of me soon.

"Brian," I try to turn around to face him but he pushes at my back.

"Finish what you started," he growls out.

I turn my attention back towards his cock as he removes his fingers and gently rubs my hole. I feel his tongue licking a path back and forth before dipping into my opening.  I nearly jump off him, the pleasure is so intense. He lathers my balls with his saliva, tickling them and making me groan. I close my eyes as I try to work his cock in my mouth. I grip his balls gently caressing them.
I know Brian likes his balls to get equal amounts of attention.

"Brian," I lift my head to plead again.

This time he listens. He slaps my butt and tells me to hand him the lube and a condom.

Quickly, I find what we need and he sits up on his knees.

I hand him the items and he pushes me back onto the bed on my stomach. I get into position and wait. The anticipation is killing me. I feel his finger on my hole. The cold lube makes me shiver.

"It'll heat up." he whispers.

No matter how many times we fuck, Brian reminds me about the lube. I can still remember the first night and it brings a smile to my face.

While Brian rolls on the condom, I wait, eagerly.

I feel the head of his dick at my hole, entering slowly. He's driving me crazy and with every fiber of my being I push back and attempt to impale myself.

He chuckles quietly. "Patience, Sunshine."

When I feel his cock inching into me, ever so slowly, the anticipation drives me wild.

"Brian," I grumble. He's such a prick tease at times!

He tweaks at my nipple to get me to shut up and rams into me, again and again, with so much intensity, I see stars. I think I'll be sore tomorrow.
With each thrust, he's hitting my prostate. I gasp because it feels so fucking amazing.

I hear his wild pants, feel his hands squeezing my skin. I'll be one bruised mess as well.

However, there's a point in the sex where it's all about the sex. I feel the thrusts and I no longer think of Brian or his cock. I think of the feeling. This incredible feeling of being so well fucked in the ass.

His balls are slapping against me and I can smell our sweat. My brain is numb. I don't remember a lover named Felix and I surely don't remember the shitty things Brian has done to me either. It's so easy...so damn easy to just let the sex take over.

I want to cum.

Make me cum. It's a mantra in my head as his cock is ramming me into sexual oblivion.

I know I'm making noises....whimpering....begging.....he's heard it all before. He knows me. He knows what this does to me....he was my teacher.

The flash of light is quick and sharp. My balls explode and my asshole tightens. That immediately sets him off because I can feel him expand and his fingers tighten on my hips.

We cum....oh god...we cum together.

20/11/02 - Krissypig

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