Banner courtesy Andrea

TALK TO ME

‘So are we going out tonight or what?’

‘As soon as you haul your ass into the bathroom and take a shower.’

‘But I’m clean.’

‘Stop smelling under your arms and get in the shower.’

‘Fine! But you better hurry too. God knows how long you spend in there with your anti-aging shit.’

‘Justin-‘

‘I’m going already.’

'Forever young...I wanna be forever young...do you really wanna live foreverrr!!!'

'Must you sing?'

'Hey! You scared me.'

'You're singing scares me. Hand me the soap. I'll wash your back if you wash mine.'

'I'd prefer it if you wash my dick.'

'Young kids today...no stopper for their mouths.'

'You can always use your mouth...and then your tongue.'

'Come here...open your mouth...'

'Hmmmm...'

'What kept you guys?'

'Justin needed to take his daily dose of protein, Mikey.'

'And then Brian had to get his, Mikey...Oh Brian! They're playing my song. Let's dance.'

'I much prefer your version.'

'You're just saying that 'cos you think you're gonna get lucky.'

'I got you, didn't I?'

'Awww...I love it when you get sweet.'

'Who was being sweet?... You don't think anyone heard, do you?'

'I doubt it. Maybe you should hold me closer?'

'You're such a tease.'

'Me? What did I do?'

'Oh I'm sorry. It must be someone else's dick rubbing against my own.'

'Oops! I didn't even realise.'

'Liar. But who's complaining?'

'Ready to get out of here?'

'Hang on a sec. Ted went to get Emmett.'

'Why?'

'Emmett thought he saw the man of his dreams.'

'So why's Ted going after him?'

''Cos Ted's Emmett's ride home.'

'Ahh...so why the fuck do we have to wait?'

'I want to see some sparks fly.'

'You're joking right?'

'What's the rush?'

'I have work in the morning you twat. Now c'mon.'

'Brian?'

'Hmmm...'

'Are you awake?'

'No.'

'I can't sleep.'

'How is that my problem?'

'Brian!'

'Go to sleep.'

'I can't.'

'Count sheep.'

'Tried it already.'

'Count dicks.'

'Tried that too.'

'What time is it?'

'After 2.'

'Justin...'

'Ok ok. Go back to sleep. I'll go watch some TV.'

'The powerpuff girls aren't on at this hour.'

'Oh shut up.'

'Come back here...want me to sing you a lullaby?'

'HA! That'll surely have me asleep after I fall off the bed from laughing so much and get a concussion.'

'Shut up.'

'You should go to sleep.'

'But you woke me up twat.'

'Yea and I'm sorry.'

'So am I 'cos I can't sleep now.'

'What should we do?'

'I don't know. I'm too tired to move.'

'Want a massage?'

'I'm up for anything.'

'Good.'

'So my dick's getting the massage?'

'You said you were up for anything...'

'I'm not complaining.'

'Good.'

'Is it morning already?'

'Would you believe that I'm getting dressed for work in the middle of the night?'

'You look yummy enough to eat. Want some breakfast?'

'God no. Your idea of breakfast and mine are totally different...and cover your mouth when you yawn.'

'Well I'm going back to bed. Call and wake me in an hour ok? I've got a class at 11...I think.'

'I've got an early meeting.'

'Well what about me?'

'Set the alarm twat.'

'You know I sleep through that thing!'

'Then get your ass off the bed and into the shower. I'll drop you off-'

'No way.'

'Have it your way.'

'Brian...'

'Fine. I'll get Cynthia to call and wake you up ok. Happy now?'

'Immensely. Now come and give me a kiss goodbye.'

'Go back to sleep. You're getting delusional.'

'Ha ha. Funny, old man.'

'The things I let you get away with...'

'It's only 'cos you love me so much.'

'Either that or I'm slowly losing my mind...I am leaning towards the latter.'

'Sure. I'm going back to bed. Don't forget to call. Love you too.'